she says live up to your first impression. [entries|friends|calendar] kendall [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[25 Apr 2006|09:10pm] i go through the motions everyday. it's all a blurr since the night you laid me down. every moment without you is a moment that i live to a limited extent. only when i'm in your presence, you're in my thoughts, and your name on the tip of my tongue am i living. 1 of them leave their scar| carved onto my heart with the rest

[11 Jan 2006|09:19pm] im so numb. i have comprimised everything i am to bask in the glory of the public eye i have become everything i envied yet i lack passion love trust i have become ubiquitous, dime a dozen. what do i have to take pride in? he made me feel larger than life. carved onto my heart with the rest

come back [10 Jan 2006|09:51pm] people say you can never be friends with the opposite sex without some kind of attraction. we were always the exception. as time goes on the more i appreciate you the way you could look in my eyes and understand exactly what i was thinking. and when we were together we thought anything was possible. how i would never have to justify myself i knew you would understand. the way we hated society and everyone in it, because they could never possibly understand our dreams. you knew me. and i looked at you and saw myself and i knew you would never leave me (how naive) and now im surrounded by love but feel so lonely fakefakefake you were always real thats why i trusted you what a let down i saw you today with your perfect love and the world at your feet you deserve every blessing that has come your way but is it so selfish of me to want my best friend back? i will always be here carved onto my heart with the rest

[15 Jul 2005|07:04pm] i always figured that in your absence all of my darkest fears would haunt me i asked myself what if when youre gone i forgot how to breathe? what if i could not function? i learned that all of my fears were pathetic in comparison to this something much worst i'm still breathing and i am functioning having to live every day normally knowing that life goes on without you and its so much fucking harder than i could have ever fucking imagined my love, my doll, my baby please come home carved onto my heart with the rest

[29 Jun 2005|12:51pm] Disorder Rating Paranoid: High Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: High Antisocial: High Borderline: Very High Histrionic: High Narcissistic: Very High Avoidant: Low Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: High -- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information -- incase anyone was unaware im completely psychotic lol 2 of them leave their scars| carved onto my heart with the rest

[23 Jun 2005|05:24pm] man i really fucked up this time and theres no going back carved onto my heart with the rest

[05 May 2005|09:01pm] fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you i guess i just got a taste of my own medicine. but i want to rip her fuckin heart out.. carved onto my heart with the rest

[20 Apr 2005|08:50pm] second guess me. hate me all you want! because this time im not fucking up. no more games babydoll, for once i know whats right. and im not letting it go until the second i have to!! ♥ ♥ fuck yesss carved onto my heart with the rest

[19 Apr 2005|06:10pm] TAKE ME BACK MADDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! we are too fucking hXc not to be best friends for life. PSH! MENDALL SON!! 1 of them leave their scar| carved onto my heart with the rest

to my baby [30 Mar 2005|06:48pm] we both know that this will never work youre leaving.. now that you know how i feel its time to move on because i cant keep holding on to a dream ill never attain. i dont know how else to let go we both know we will always hold a place for each other in our hearts i didnt lie when i said you were             my soulmate                     my first love                                 my true love                                               the one who got away..   ACROSS FIVE APRILS "a year from now" Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours, In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark, And I still have these memories, But will never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember, cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory. I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real, You said they were, What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, But I guess I've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? ♥Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?♥ carved onto my heart with the rest

[22 Mar 2005|07:58pm] TO VEGAS BITCHES!!! miss me! PEACE! 1 of them leave their scar| carved onto my heart with the rest

[10 Mar 2005|04:36pm] i consciously keep it empty and avoid eye contact at all costs. if, around you, i pretend i dont want you the way i do i might even convince myself.     im selfish      forgive me                i want to keep you                                  stay with me                                              ill fix everything..                                                                  just for you, beautiful   please stay with me carved onto my heart with the rest

[08 Mar 2005|06:27pm] && tonight will go on forever while we walk around this town like we own the streets && stay awake through summer like we own the heat singing "everybody wake up (wake up) it's time to get down" (everybody, everybody wake up its time to get down) im gonna stay fIfTeEn forever (cut me open) so we can stay like this forever (sun poisoned) && we'll never miss a party (this offer...) cause we keep them going constantly (...stands forever) && we'll never have to listen (new haircut) to anyone about anything (new bracelet) cause it's all been done and it's all been said (eyeliner) we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get The hell out of this town find some conversation the low fuel lights been on for days it doesn't mean anything ive got another 500, 'nother 500 miles before we shut this engine down, we shut it down just jealous cause we're young and in love You're just jealous cause we're young and in love 2 of them leave their scars| carved onto my heart with the rest

[28 Feb 2005|03:02pm] fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i would be so happy, everything would be so perfect i can tell myself i have stopped loving you. but i still die everytime i realize that you used me simply to love and to be loved. i will hold it all inside of me, take it to the grave. and the truth is that i will lose you no matter what happens. i always heard death is inevitable. but i never knew you would be the one with the gun to my head. its over. ive lost you EDIT!! just kidding. i love you girlfriend. happy 6 month!♥ and youre not a fishy, youre my mermaid! 2 of them leave their scars| carved onto my heart with the rest

[22 Feb 2005|11:49am] hmmm what can i say? my boys a keeper. Tell her you think she is amazing. Tell her why you think she is so amazing. Smell her hair. Whisper to her in the middle of the movie. Pick her up and pretend you’re going to throw her in the pool; she’ll scream and fight, but secretly, she’ll love it. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand while you drive. Tell her she looks pretty. Let her pay for stuff if she wants to. Introduce her to your friends as the coolest girl you know. Look her in the eye when you talk to her. Protect her. Tell her stupid jokes. Let her mess with your hair. Look at her like she’s the first girl you’ve ever seen, even if she says to stop. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Call her. Call her back if she calls you. Get mad, then kiss her. Give her space when she needs it. Tease her. Let her tease you back. Stay up with her all night when she’s sick. Teach her something. Kiss her forehead. Take her to cool places, and let her take you to even cooler ones. Let her wear your clothes. When she’s sad, hang out with her or stay on the phone and talk with her, even if she’s not saying anything. Be slow...but not too slow. Buy her ice cream. Make her feel loved. Kiss her in the rain and when you fall in love with her, tell her. stolen from allikinns.. its sooooooooo cliche and gross i know but it reminds me of my baby ♥ ♥ what a superhero 3 of them leave their scars| carved onto my heart with the rest

[14 Feb 2005|02:32pm] happy tomorrow valentines day. i have a valentine! ♥ and shes super hottt! lol carved onto my heart with the rest

[02 Feb 2005|03:50pm] you told me i was perfect; and the feeling was mutual; and you made me smile until my face hurt; and you insist that im most beautiful with no makeup and unstraightened hair; and you wanted to propose to me with a wal-mart ring, but you could'nt find the perfect one; you told me we would get married and youd buy me three newfoundlands; you loved the way my nose turned red in the cold and when i cried; you brought me a package of juicy juice in the morning; you love mountain dew as much as i do; you told me i could trust you because you would never hurt me boy, i feel a bit stupid. i should have figured that nothing is that perfect. but you are 1 of them leave their scar| carved onto my heart with the rest

[31 Jan 2005|05:45pm] hes right about everything. you are beauty, poetry, every lyric, worth living and dying for. you are impossble to forget. i bet i put on a good show. i think i had you convinced i was happy without you. now, i just need to convince myself. 'you know youll move on eventually.' 'never. never. never. never. shes the one and i can never have her.' 'you will never work, mutual love isnt everything. you and her are destined for failure.' 'failure can sometimes be beautful you know' 'youre wrong.' carved onto my heart with the rest

[31 Jan 2005|02:37pm] tsunami bomb- simple truth Even though I'm always gone Doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you all the time And when life is getting rough I imagine us sharing our whole lives. We could run away Leave behind anything bigger Not knowing where we're going to stay When there's no limits. You're part of me, it's so easy to see the simple truth When I'm in your arms, I feel safe from harm and sorrow too You're part of me, it's so easy to see the simple truth But most of all, nothing couldn't be solved when I'm with you That memory of your smile Pierces through the dark when I go to bed alone. And when I'm about to fall apart I remember your open arms Waiting for me to come home. Let's create our own world Make it up to us, simple and honest I'll sing a song you've never ever heard No one else could be You're part of me, it's so easy to see the simple truth When I'm in your arms, I feel safe from harm and sorrow too You're part of me, it's so easy to see the simple truth But most of all, nothing couldn't be solved when I'm with you But most of all, nothing couldn't be solved When I'm with you ♥ i miss you ♥ 8/27/04 5 of them leave their scars| carved onto my heart with the rest

[29 Jan 2005|05:14pm] true, he makes me incredibly happy, we work so well its sickening. but nothing will compare to those summers the ones we always hold in the back of our minds. the unattainable standard we hold each other to. i was happiest with you, always. i was always safe. and in the same sense, simply looking into your eyes hurts too much to bare. i never meant to lead you on. i meant every word, but sensibility forces me not to act. i just cant, love. they arent empty. they are just clouded wuth fear. but... hott date. you, me.. sexxxxxxxxxx carved onto my heart with the rest

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